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Do keep in mind that these setups may not be the most reliable, but you can use the following steps to get the services to work in Snow Leopard and test them out with your phone.
To set up a shared calendar just create a new calendar in i Cal, right click on it and go into Sharing Settings.
Now in OSX Mountain Lion it adds a notification to i Cal so you can see exactly where the event went.
Give each calendar a different color and it is easy to see where those hard landscapes exist.
From there you can put in the contact of the person you want to share it with.
They get an email notification and can add it to their i Cal which then syncs to all their i OS devices.